Sonnet
By Jaclyn Parris
Shall I behold a glimmering stone heart?
You act as harsh as a white swan
But still I admire you as pure art
Longing for your cold eyes to gaze upon
Waiting for our bold stares to align
Your voice as pure as a string symphony
Gently speaking from your cruel tainted mind
Evading my hearts euphony for thee
You are beastly to overlook this love
I cannot bear to stand this misery
You would fit with me like a woolen glove
But I know you do not agree with me
We will never be an adoring pair
So my deep love we cannot ever share
I think you could seperate the rhyme scheme of abab cdcd efef gg in sections so it is clearer, easier to read and it has a nicer look to it. But you can leave it like this aswell its just a suggestion
ReplyDeleteJulian Pohl
I like your choice of end rhymes the fit very well
ReplyDeleteRichard M
It is a good sonnet but I think if you would have added punctuation marks after every line or every stanza then the person reading it would be able read it properly with taking proper pauses and stopping where required.
ReplyDelete